Friday, December 29, 2006

Goodbye my friend

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend...."



Rare River Dolphin Declared Extinct

By AP Wire Service

BEIJING (AP) -- A rare, nearly blind white dolphin that survived for millions of years is effectively extinct, an international expedition declared Wednesday after ending a fruitless six-week search of its Yangtze River habitat.

The baiji would be the first large aquatic mammal driven to extinction since hunting and overfishing killed off the Caribbean monk seal in the 1950s.

For the baiji, the culprit was a degraded habitat -- busy ship traffic, which confounds the sonar dolphins use to find food, and overfishing and pollution in the Yangtze waters of eastern China, the expedition said.

"The baiji is functionally extinct. We might have missed one or two animals but it won't survive in the wild," said August Pfluger, a Swiss economist turned naturalist who helped put together the expedition. "We are all incredibly sad."

The baiji dates back 20 million years. Chinese called it the "goddess of the Yangtze." For China, its disappearance symbolizes how unbridled economic growth is changing the country's environment irreparably, some envi ronmentalists say.

"It's a tremendously sad day when any species goes extinct. It becomes more of a public tragedy to lose a large, charismatic species like the river dolphin," said Chris Williams, manager of river basin conservation for the World Wildlife Fund.

"The loss of a large animal like a river dolphin is often a harbinger for what's going on in the larger system as whole. It's not only the loss of a beautiful animal but an indication that the way its habitat is being managed, the way we're interacting with the natural environment of the river is deeply flawed . . . if a species like this can't survive."

"It's a tremendously sad day when any species goes extinct. It becomes more of a public tragedy to lose a large, charismatic species like the river dolphin," said Chris Williams, manager of river basin conservation for the World Wildlife Fund.

"The loss of a large animal like a river dolphin is often a harbinger for what's going on in the larger system as whole. It's not only the loss of a beautiful animal but an indication that the way its habitat is being managed, the way we're interacting with the natural environment of the river is deeply flawed . . . if a species like this can't survive."

Randall Reeves, chairman of the World Conservation Union's Cetacean Specialist Group, who took part in the Yangtze mission, said expedition participants were surprised at how quickly the dolphins disappeared.

"Some of us didn't want to believe that this would really happen, especially so quickly," he said. "This particular species is the only living representative of a whole family of mammals. This is the end of a whole branch of evolution."

The damage to the baiji's habitat is also affecting the Yangtze finless porpoise, whose numbers have fallen to below 400, the expedition found.

"The situation of the finless porpoise is just like that of the baiji 20 years ago," the group said in a statement citing Wang Ding, a Chinese hydrobiologist and co-leader of the expedition. "If we do not act soon they will become a second baiji."

Pfluger said China's Agriculture Ministry, which approved the expedition, had hoped the baiji would be another panda, an animal brought back from the brink of extinction in a highly marketable effort that bolstered the country's image.

During the latest expedition, an online diary kept by team members traced a dispiriting situation, as day after day they failed to spot a single baiji.

Even in the expedition's final days, members believed they would find a specimen, trolling a "hot spot" below the industrial city of Wuhan where Baiji were previously sighted, Pfluger said.

"Hope dies last," he said.

www.baiji.org

This first line of a song that I know is very meaningful especially with the recent article that I chanced upon while surfing. We often ask ourselves what had gone wrong after the consequences had come. Many times, we ignored the warnings that we had received and only reflect and ask ourselves what happened. Like this poor animal who doesn't deserve it's fate, we could only lie and face the consequences as helpless as it. Also, there wasn't anyone mourning for this poor animal when it became extinct just this month. How many times do we have to continue to pollute our environment that we live in until we humans faced the threat of extinction? Why can't everyone do their part to protect and cherish the environment and its animals that lived together with us? The Bengal tigers are facing the threat of extinction, the rhinocerous is being hunted for its horn, the orang-utans and the gorillas' habitat are slowly being destroyed due to the threat of globalisation. It's always a loss when an animal has become extinct. I want to show my future generation of what a Tiger looks like in flesh instead of just image from the textbooks. I want to let the future generation admire the marvels of creation and look at the majestic lions and tigers with awe instead of looking at the pictures. It's time for us people to be more aware of our environment and more pro-active about it instead of just ignoring the dire consequences until it's too late. By then, are we going to ask ourselves what did we go wrong? Or take proactive measures to prevent the horrible outcome?

However, hope still last...we can still make amends and help the animals who are now facing the threat of extinction or being endangered. It's time for us to take the first steps to accept that the animals need our help or they will be gone forever. It's time for us to be aware of the pollution that we are excessively contributing to the environment so that we can do something about it. It's time for us to take a stand against abuse of animals and do our part to ensure their existence of survival so that our future generations can see the marvels of the animals instead of looking at pictures of the Dodo or the Tasmanian Tiger like now.



Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Christmas Time!!

Well, Christmas had just passed and I am still feeling the after effects of bloatedness and my stomach groaning from too much turkey, ham and sausages. I went for the mid-night mass at my church and celebrated the birth of Christ with my friends. To me, the meaning of Christmas is not about shopping or exchanging of gifts or even abt Santa coming down the chimnys to give presents which some might say tat he is the Devil w/o the ‘n’. Instead, Christmas is just about being thankful for wat you have and spend more time wif your family…All of us have our ups and downs throughout the yr. However, we should be thankful be grateful for wat we have. As the year is approaching its end, Christmas is also the time to take some time to reflect our past yr and thank God for all the blessings tat we have received. Also, we should take moment to pause and pray for those people who lost their lives during the Asian Tsunami 2 yrs ago. It helps us to remind ourselves tat life is fragile and we should cherish it and continue to live for the moment…

As Christmas has passed, the malls have begun their annual post- Christmas sale. Sadly, there wasn’t much things to buy for the mens’ department as most of the items were still too expensive or not on sale…For the ladies, I guess today must be their lucky day as many items were up for sale…



Another small peeve of mine before I end the post, how come people dun have the decency to clear up their plates esp during the rush hr...took this pic during the late rush hr and it's seems tat the staff and the customers can't be bothered to clear the rubbish...sighx

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

New Mall


After studying for my exams in Nov, I took a long break and went to the new shopping mall called Vivocity. From there, there is a huge magnificant view of the ocean and the sea. It's a nice scenery to look at especially when you just wanna chill and relax by the bay...





Band performing @ Vivocity


As the mall is located near the harbour port, there will be small ships sailing through...


Sunset view of the bay from the mall with cable cars in the background. The big ship is actually the Star Cruise ship

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Departed

Ok, there's this movie that I wanted to watch. It is actually a remake of the Hong Kong thriller movie – Infernal Affairs, thus it is a remake version. According to the New Paper, this is the how the story goes....

It's a good cop bad cop scenerio. Set in the mean streets in South Boston, rookie cop Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) goese undercover to infiltrate an organised crime ring. Meanwhile, Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson), the mob's powerful boss, has an inside man of his own, golden-boy detective Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon), who is firnly planted in the department's Special Investigations Unit. It doesn't take long for both sides to realise that they have moles in their midst, and from then on, Costigan and Sullivan race against time to expose each other.


I haven’t watch the Hong Kong version yet, however what make me wanna watch this US made movie is that it is directed by Martin Scorsese, one of the best directors in town. I loved watching his movies, like recently the Aviator and Gangs of New York, both of which I think is the best classic films of all times. Thus I think that this movie would be one of his best works that he directed and really really hope that he wins an Oscar for this. This man deserved it eons ago. Also, this film features some of the best thespians in Hollywood like Jack Nicholson. I watched his Oscar-winning movie “Over the cuckoo nest” which I enjoyed his acting tremendously. He played a convict trying to be mad so that he would be hospitalized instead of going to jail for his crimes. However along the way, the hospital inmates crazy antics and the psychiatric treatment caused him to doubt his sanity. Nice movie to watch which I highly recommend.




Friday, October 06, 2006

Honesty is the best policy?

Remember when we were young? Our parents taught us not to steal, cheat and especially lie to others. Our parents always told us to tell the truth always, especially if you were caught doing some illegal stuff and it's better to confess truthfully than to lie. If not, our parents would come out with some superstitions mumbo-jumbo stuff saying that our nose would grow longer if we lie like Pinocchio in the fairy tales.

However, as we grow older, the truth seems to take a back seat. Our parents tell us not to tell the truth to others, especially if the other party could not handle it. Why not, we asked during our teens? Why can't we tell our Aunt Betty that she is too ugly or tell Uncle George to go and take a shower because he stinks up the room? No, our parents said, "It's rude to insult other people and it's not courteous." Eh...so it's courteous for them to make a stench in the room and not courteous for us to just tell them the truth?

During our interview, the advice given would be to always blow your own trumpet...even if you don't have one. Tell your interviewers that you did a lot of impressive stuffs as written in your resume, have lots of experience when you have none, or even boost about your personality and your interest for the job when you don't even like it.

Why it is that people can't handle the truth when it is shoved right to them? Why, as we grow older, try to hide the truth with many layers of facade instead of just being upfront about it? Why we can't tell our bosses how we actually feel being overworked instead of just grimacing and complaining behind their backs?

I know it's difficult to tell someone the truth or even difficult for someone to handle the truth. I remembered during the times when I was still in NS working as a clerk and there was one female admin supervisor who is the worst person that anyone would work with. She played office politics shrewdly and use her skills such as apple polishing to win over her superiors. However, when dealing with her own subordinates and fellow colleagues, she acted as if she is the boss and wants to do things her way and sometimes even got into arguments with them over minor issues. To her superiors, she is the role model worker that anyone could ask her for. To her subordinates, she is the wicked witch of the East who will always create trouble in the office when there is none. I suppose, as everyone might suggest, is to keep my mouth shut and just worked under her. But no, I told her bluntly the truth that she is a hypocrite. She said that I was rude and insubordinate to her and threatened to report me.

I guess in our life, truth is something that we want to hide from others. Sometimes, we lie to our friends to prevent them from hurting. Sometimes we tell a white lie to our parents to prevent them from worrying. Other times, our parents lie to us so that we could have a better childhood than they had. Or perhaps protect us from the societal problems and issues that we innocently do not know. During school, our teachers lie so as to encourage us to study better and be more optimistic. In working life, we lie to our bosses so as to retain our jobs. Our bosses lie to us so as to ensure that we keep working under them. We have an American President who lied to his fellow citizens so as to engage a war. The world today we lived in as all a pack of lies. It is like a deck of cards stacking up to form a pyramid at the top. Who will be the one who will pull a card from the base, causing the whole foundation to crash down?

The light of the truth can be harsh to those who have been in the dark. During the olden times, Plato wrote about prisoners who lived their whole lives in a cave and were chained in place. Sometimes a fire will be there which throws shadows against the wall in front of them. That's all they ever see during the time in prison. They have no reason to believe there's more to the world. However when they are released and stepped out into the light for the first time, their eyes hurt. Once they adjusted to the light, then they found reason to hope for better future. Yes, sometimes, truth hurts. No, in fact truth always hurts. However, once we are adjusted to the truth, we will find it more acceptable to deal with it. So it's up to us to turn on the switch so that others may see the truth of light...yup even though it hurts initially.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Back to School

This week marks the return back to school after 1 week break. Here I am in the lecture theatre when I am a tiny speck in the vast number of people attending this Econs lecture. Arghh...need to check out with my work before the exams begin in Nov. Have not done my physics lab report and practised my Spanish during the hols...need to hurry revise them before I forgot them totally....





Notice the guy standing? I wonder if he's checking out some gal sitting a few rows below mine...hmmm



Took this pic as the lecturer was rambling...trying to keep myself awake...yawnz...

Saturday, September 30, 2006

2 new shows

"With great powers come great responsibility"



This is famous statement from the Spiderman comics when Uncle Ben told Peter Parker before he passed away. With this comes a great new show from NBC this fall titled Heroes. It is a serial show about people all over the world discovering that they have superpowers and trying to deal with how this change affects their lives. There is a pretty 17 yr old cheerleader who can heal herself every time she is injured, meaning she could actually cheat death. Instead of finding her powers as a gift, she feels that she is a freak. On the other hand, there is a Japanese man who wishes that he is able to have superpowers and found the ability to freeze time and teleport to other places. He find his powers very fascinating and feels that he is special and gifted from others. There is a man who has the ability to paint images of the future provided he is high on drugs. I like this new show because it is like 'Lost' where the main characters have a certain 6-degree connection with each other. There is also a scientific mystery to the whole gifts where the character in the show theorizes that humans are undergoing another stage of evolution. Apparently, it could a scientific genetic experimentation where mutation occurs or some form of evolution where we are going up to a second level. Also, it touches on how humans are given the opportunity to choose whether to exploit the gift that they had or simply ignore it or use it for the good of others. How many times when we were young that we wish that we had some kind of superpowers? This show is certainty the one to watch during this fall.

"If I had to choose between a one-night-stand or time with these people? I choose them... " - Michael Scott


Also for comedy, I would recommend NBC The Office. It is an adaptation of the British comedy with the same title. This show follows the daily interactions of a group of idiosyncratic office employees via a documentary film crew's cameras. This is like Survivor meets Office Politics. Basically, the format of the show is like a documentary where they will show a day in the office. However, there will be behind the scenes interviews with the office workers where the workers will tell their true feelings and bitch about others in a comedic way. If you like the show Friends, you may not find this humorous as it is not a sitcom where funny lines are spurted out by the characters. The show plays on human cynicism, parody and quirky interactions with each other which can be pretty hilarious if you get the joke.

A summary of the characters

Regional manager Michael (Steve Carell) thinks he's the coolest, funniest, best boss ever - which, of course, makes him the uncoolest, most obnoxious and annoying boss as far as his staff is concerned. Steve Carrell is such a great comedian that he is able to portray the character. I always laughed when he is on the screen. He really deserve that Emmy.

His co-worker Jim (John Krasinski) lusts after engaged receptionist Pam (Jenna Fischer, Miss Match) when he's not sabotaging his cube-mate, the know-it-all Dwight (Rainn Wilson). Too bad, Jim move to another department when his love for Pam is unrequited. Dwight is also a funny character who thinks that he is the boss and is always right. The interactions between Dwight and Jim are really fun to watch as they bought so much laughter that brought tears to my eyes. Overall, it is a fun comedy to watch since the departure of Friends. I have attached some clips for a sneak peak where you can also find other clips @ the YouTube. Hope that these two shows will really brighten up your week...

On another note...argh...physics test today was a torture. I don't know whether I can pass the test or not. The physics test seems so easy and yet when I tried to do the questions, I couldn't even know whether it is a correct answer. The marks allocated were quite generous, so hopefully I will get a few marks here and there when I write my formulas and showed some workings. Now, have to study my chem as there is a test coming up next Thus...sighz...







Thursday, September 28, 2006

The End of S’pore Idol???


Monday was the end of the season (finally!!) for the S'pore Idol which ended to Hardy Mirza getting the honour of being the second & most probably the last Idol should the producers decided to end the series. Congrats to him for beating Jonathan in the finals. The season has been too much of the lows and a huge disappointment compared to the last season. The final 12 contestants as a whole were a joke. Though there were good singers like Matilda, Hady and Gayle, contestants like Joachim were obviously proven that he can't sing to save his life. Paul Twohill started out strong during the beginning but declined so much he butchered Boyzone 'Picture of You' Somehow as he admitted, he lost his identity as a emo rocker during the spectaculars. Also, Jasmine didn't even deserved to be in the final three as she was not consistent in her performances and sang a Spice Girl song!! Which contestant would sing this song, man? She didn't really choose her songs properly. The one huge disappointment during the whole spectaculars was when Matilda got eliminated. She was clearly one of the few best singers in the competition and could really advanced further perhaps into the final three. Too bad, voters do not take up to her image and too many little girls voting for the cute guys resulting in Joachim and Paul staying.

It's a pity if S'pore Idol was to end. This is one show that Singaporeans from different races can have the opportunity to showcase their singing talents and pursue their dreams of being a singer. Some tweaks definitely should be made so that the next season can be more successful. Like the American Idol during the third season, ratings were going downhill and people were getting disinterested. However, with a few tweaks here and there, the next and fifth season proved to be a huge hit with the ratings. Similarly, there should be some tweaks made. One could be the introduction of guest singers to teach the Idols during the spectaculars and guest judges during the roadshow auditions and the finals.

I am looking forward to the next reality competition - the Dance Floor. The show looks promising and there is a wider age gap for participation which will ensure that that quality dancing esp from the older generation would be shown. I only hope that voting is free, unlike S'pore Idol so that different age groups, regardless of whether u are rich or poor, can vote w/o costing them a single cent. That way, then Singapore can truly decide.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Video Taken in Taiwan

Ok, I took this video when I was in Taiwan at the Sun Yat-Sen museum.



Monday, September 25, 2006

A little update

¡Hola!

It's been two months since I last blogged. Wow, so much as happened in the world. Pluto had been demoted from the planetary system to a dwarf planet, Steve Irwin had passed away after a freak accident with a stingray (rest in peace, mate), Thaksin's government had been toppled and replaced with military rule, Katie Couric started work at CBS News, Singapore just ended hosting the IMF meeting recently...yah I get it, I got so lazy the past few weeks that I am not keeping up with the world events.

Anyway, just a little update for peeps out there, just started my undergraduate life in Nanyang. Before that, I actually had two options - Arts and Social Science in NUS or Engineering in NTU. A lot of my friends asked me why I chose NTU instead or NUS. I really dun noe the exact reason but I guess it's because I still dun wanna abandon my science background. All my life, I have studied science from sec sch to JC. To suddenly abandon it to pursue arts, I gueses it's not in my blood. Not to say, I dun like Arts subjects. I like History and Psychology. Perhaps I can take these subjects as my electives in my course at NTU.

Spanish is in my blood...heh!! Yup, I am currently learning Spanish in my school. It's fun to learn, quite easy to learn so far. Spanish has three verbs conjugations, so it's quite easy to learn compared to the other romantic languages. So next time I am in Spain or Latin America, check me conversing with the Latino and Spanish babes there in Spanish...lol

Just a little pics of to show how "civic-minded" that Singaporeans can be!! Eating curry puffs in the MRT train as if it's the right thing to do! Such a disgrace and blantly rude for ignoring the 'No eating & drinking in the train' signs...



Friday, July 07, 2006

Taiwan pics!!

For the past couple of days, I kinda write quite a long post, so wanna take a little break now...show the photos of my Taipei trip...





The tallest building in the world
- Taipei 101

A night scene from one of the famous market
- Shilin Market

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Superman Returns at IMAX



Like in the previous post I mentioned, I watched the Superman Returns on the IMAX theatre on Monday. The last time I watched any movie in the IMAX was like 10 years ago. So when I went in to watch this movie, I wasn't expecting anything as I had forgotten what type of special effects that IMAX offered.

Pros

First of all, I must say wow!!! Watching the movie on the IMAX is totally different experience than watching at normal theatres. The IMAX theatre has like an omni-dome where the movie is magnified many times. In the opening, I was feeling like I was in the universe, watching the planet Kryton exploded into million pieces. When the debris was hurled into the universe, I could feel the debris hurling towards the audience. Also, the space travel is also an exhilarating experience where I could feel like I was in the space shuttle traveling the speed of light towards Earth. When Superman flew faster than the speeding bullet, the special effects at IMAX allow me to feel how Superman flies at a high or low velocity which I could not experience it at normal theatres. Same experience felt during the airplane scene where Superman saves the airplane from crushing down. I could feel the effects of the airplane traveling and losing turbulence, rapidly descending to the ground.

Cons

It is a pity that the timing for this movie is quite disappointing. During the weekdays, there are only two screenings of the movie which starts only after 5pm. So I had to watch this movie rather late at night. During weekends, the timing is an improvement with screenings in the morning and afternoon. Also, the leg space can be definitely improved. The leg space in the seats was so narrow that it is difficult for the people to pass through to get the seats. As my seating was in the middle, I had difficulty passing through the seats. I almost accidentally stepped on the leg of an old woman. Also, there were no subtitles. To me, it didn't matter much however, I think that some of the audience had no idea that there will be no subtitles. There was no 3-D effects on the IMAX screen, so the images are not 'pop-out' towarrds the audience like I thought. It's like watching a normal movie on the big dome-shaped screen. Though you are able to feel the experience and the effects of the movie like I mentioned, you can't see 3-D images of Superman which is quite disappointing.


Review

Overall, the story content is good. I kinda like it that the story took off after Superman II instead of IV as I didn't watch the last 2 movies. Brandon Ruth, like many people agree, has a certain resemblance to the late Christopher Reeve. He certainly portrays the three characters - Clark Kent, Kal-El and Superman to a great effect. Also, like the late Christopher Reeve, Brandon Ruth brings out the desire in me to fly like Superman. Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor is a great casting role. There can't be a better actor than him for the portrayal of Lex Luthor. Also, Kate Bosworth is quite a good actress and portrayed Lois Lane well. Unlike Katie Holmes in Batman Begins, Kate manages to hold her own and does not bring down the whole casts. Her role as a single reporter mum is endearing to watch as she tries hard to ignore her feelings for Superman. Also, I liked the scene where Lois saves Superman, kind of showed that Lois at times is able to stand on her own too.


I don't like it that the director didn't focus on Superman abilities to save Mankind. In the movie, there are only two grave instances that Superman came to the rescue. The movie focuses on the emotional and romantic side of Superman which kinda put me off a little. It would be better if the director do more action sequence scenes rather than the emotional stuff...Also, there is not much scenes between Lex and Superman. I like the interaction between the two characters which unfortunately comes rather late in the movie.

Yup, that's all folks for now...™

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Comic Relief

Yeah! I will be watching Superman Returns on Monday...and it's on 3-D!! Yup, I will be watching it at the IMAX theatre instead of the usual cinemas. Singapore cinema rates are slowly increasing their prices which caused a strain in my pocket. The price of a cinema ticket when you watch on weekend is almost equivalent to watching in the IMAX theatre during the weekdays. Let say you want to watch the movie on weekends at Cathay, you have to queue up very long due to crowds and have to pay $9.50. If you want to book the tickets online, you have to pay an additional $1 or $2 for service charge. Instead, why don't you watch the movie during the weekdays instead at IMAX? You only need to pay $12 and can experience the wonders magic of 3-D...

Seriously, I hope that Superman Returns live up to its hype. The last Superman movie was in 1987, nearly 20 years. I only watched Superman I and II. The last comic movie which I watched has disappointed me greatly. X-Men: The Last Stand was a sorely disappointment compared to its predecessors. I mean, what's up with killing the main characters when they don't contribute to the main plot? The storyline was good but the plot development sucks big time...why feature so many mutants when they don’t even use their powers to fight? Instead, they use their fists and punchs...lol Also, what's up with the cheesy one liners? The movie lacked character development and emotions. The movie didn't explain why some mutants choose the cure. Some of the main characters are sidelined and forgotten. Even Jean Grey aka Dark Phoenix is quite disappointing – not her powers but her storyline development...

Anyway, this is my first time watching a movie on IMAX theatre. I actually wanted to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on IMAX but they released it later than on normal cinema theatres...I will post a review of it (hopefully it's good review) once I watched it on Mon...

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Moving On

How do we move on and continue our life when we experienced a tragedy? How do we move on after we broke up our relationships with our loved ones? Or we lost our loved ones? Sometimes, it can easy to for an outsider to tell us to move on and get over it. However, unless they are in our shoes and experience the same experience, they will never truly know how we feel.

I remember going to a psychologist seeking counsel on moving on and recovering. I told her that I want to move on as quickly as possible without getting stuck in limbo mourning over the loss of my dad and my friend. I even lied to her that I am moving on after the death of my friend which happened in Apr 2005. Instead, the psychologist said that I should take time to mourn for my loss ones and slowly move on, instead of quickening the process. However, I don't want too. Why? Coz it hurts like hell. Why can't I move on with my life as quickly as possible? What am I still in the limbo mourning over my late father's death? It happened over 6 mths, get over it...MOVE ON!!

Now, every decision I made, I will be remembered of my dad. I tried to go for a holiday in Taiwan recently to forget my dad and try to move on. (I will post the pics later). Here I am in Taiwan, trying to enjoy my vacation and relaxing my time there. Instead, I can't enjoy my vacation fully with flashes of my dad's images and words going through my mind every time. Every where I go, every tourist attractions I see, my father's images and memories will come flashing through my mind like a slideshow...I will accidentally imagined him talking to me in Taiwan. Perhaps, it is because my father had his honeymoon with my mum that brought all these sub-conscious memories to full view in my mind. It seems that my father was there with me in Taiwan trying to talk to me; I tried hard to ignore him and failed.

Now after 6 mths, it is difficult for me to move on. Often, I will delude myself thinking that I am all right but then my friends will see through my masked expressions. I was kinda shocked to hear from my friend once when we were having BBQ at East Coast. He took a picture of me and remarked that it's the first time since I laughed or smiled since the tragedy. Wow, even I had not even noticed that. In Starbucks, the barristas are encouraged to smile and initiate conversations with the customers. How can I smile at them and strike a conversation?

"Hi! How are you? My father had just died and I am supposed to be smiling and talking to you…so wat's up?"

Even the smiles that I wore seem to be plastered and fake that my colleagues keep on asking me if I am all right. I swear, if anyone is going to ask me again, I will wring their necks off...I think I am slowly going over to the dark side...

I will be going to the university later. I thought of going to their orientation camps and make more friends. However, something is pulling me back. It seems that I am trying to swim away from the tornado of my depressed feelings and instead, I am slowly getting sucked into it How can I be cheerful and enthusiastic to make more friends where I still haven't resolved my dark side within me? I wanted to live in the university halls too but I can't find myself to live there since my dad passed away. Before the incident, I thought that I will attend the orientation camps and live at the halls, enjoying my university life with my friends that I make. Now, it seems that my life has drastically changed. I can't live in the hall anymore without worrying about my family back home. Perhaps, I can't even enjoy the orientation camp without worrying about my family too. My senior friend at the university keeps on asking me to join the orientation camp but I can't. I am afraid as I know that I haven't moved on since my father passed away. My feelings are bottled and I am afraid that they will explode during the camp.

Why is it that I take so long to move on? I want to move on to continue with my life but I am in limbo. Everywhere I go, even at the streets of Singapore, I will be reminded of my father who drove me there in his van in the past. Memories and flashes of his images will come into the mind which I tried to ignore them. It seems that I have problems moving on. Even in my college days, I have difficulty moving on after the girl I like had found her Mr. Right. I wanted to tell her very much how much I liked her and want to be with her but I couldn't. Instead, her Mr. Right came with his shining armour (or lacked of) and swept her feet away. Even now, I have problems letting go of her even if my friends have advised me so. Moving on seems an impossible task for me to do…I want to forget and move on with my life as quick as possible instead of dwelling and remaining in limbo. How do I move on then? Do I packed my emotions, feelings, memories and images of my father into boxes, locked them up and never opening them again in the future? Or do I acknowledge them and weep a tear everytime when flashes of my father's memories come through my mind. I wish for a day when I can no longer be reminded of my father's memories and images. Perhaps the reason I am having them is guilt; guilt that I could have saved him instead of letting him die. Guilt that I fell asleep instead of staying all night to look after him. Guilt that I dismissed my premonitions and instincts that my father is going to die that night instead of acting on them which could have saved him. Perhaps, when I let go of my guilt and learn to forgive myself, then I can move on.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

2 more deaths revealed in the final book of Potter

Oh no, JK Rowling had said on the UK afternoon talk show Richard & Judy that 2 main characters will be killed in the final harry potter book. She was quoted as saying:


"The final chapter is hidden away, although it's now changed very slightly, One character got a reprieve, but I have to say two die that I didn't intend to die."

Let me guess...erm I guess Snape will be the one getting the reprieve. As for the characters who are going to die, I am not going to speculate at the moment but I think Rowling is going to kill Harry. Seriously if it were me, I would not want some other author to continue the stories of Harry like the Star Wars series. I would want the series to end it on my own terms rather than let some author mess up my beloved character. So kudos to her for that...

So far, I loved all the Harry Potter books especially the last one, Half Blood Prince. It kinda saddened me to see the series ending soon in the next yr. She wrote the whole series including the final chapter of the last book even before her first book is published. Imagine that! She has given lots of her time and energy into developing the characters and the storyline. I guess she deserved the title 'Greatest Living British Writer' ever which is voted by the people.

Monday, June 26, 2006

New job

Today, I started another new job instead of working at the Starbucks. Reason? I didn't get too many shifts during the week. Every time I apply for three or more shifts per week, I always get only one. I guess it is due to low business around the area...guess the new Cathay is slowly losing its business...unless more human crowd can come to the place.

Anyway for the new job, I will be working in the office job (yah!). The job is quite easy to do, just help to fax documents, fold letters into envelope and just type some stuff on the computer. The pay is reasonable too, a bit higher than working at Starbucks. However, I will be working there for only abt 1 mth plus since I will be entering the uni soon...

I guess I have found my ideal temp job...working at the office in the air-conditioned room. Also, I get to work with the office girls there too as I am the only temp guy there...one of girls is quite chio...and one of them talks like Patricia Mok! (no offense there...)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

DOTA

The game which I enjoyed when I found out about it this year. I am not really a computer game expert as I sucked in my hand co-ordination in multiplayer games like counterstrike. I only like to play strategic-based games like Age of Empires where teamwork and strategy is necessary to win in these kind of games. However, DOTA is a mix between strategy-based and a little hand co-ordination which you can kill heroes.

Let me explain how the game plays...

First, you choose a character either from the Sentinel or from the Scouge. Then you build up your hero by killing creeps (little minions) which will gain you experience and money. With enough money, you can buy items to make your hero more powerful and strong so that you can kill other characters heroes. The game ends when your base is defeated or you successfully kill your opponent's base.

Simple? Yah, it is. However, there is more to this. You need to know which items to buy for each hero character so that the item you buy will not be wasted and useless. And backstabbing is part and parcel of the game…You have sometimes backstab other opponent's hero in order to kill them. However, this may not gain favour with your friends who are playing. I know of someone who hates being backstabbed and would always shout and cursed before quitting the game halfway which is a big no-no...

So I played this game about once or twice a week with my church friends. I think the price of the usage for playing computer games in lan gaming shops is quite high, so I tend to play less and only minimal...

This game helps to booster your confidence and increase your strategical skills. However, some pple take reel to be reality and constantly spoil the mood of the game. They tend to be uptight and agitated and perhaps angry when their teammates are lousy players or noobies and do not know how to play the game well...so they will vent their anger and frustrations on them... relax!! Just treat this as a game and all will be ok...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My New iPod!!!

I got my first iPod!!! It's a 30GB 5th gen video iPod. Yah, after so many years since iPod is launched in 2001 that I am finally financially free to buy this product. When it was first launched, it was so expensive and not very nice. I only like the click wheel, however the iPod is quite bulky (1st gen). Now, it has improved tremendously. Slim sleek design with cool click wheel. And it comes with a click wheel and can play videos too!! my first video mp3 player!!

Why I bought it? Coz i keep losing my mp3 players!! The first one I got was a Philips model but it spoiled after 1 yr and 1mth. It spoiled the first time during warranty period and I got it fixed. However, this model got spoiled after again just as my warranty period ended. Curse myself for bad luck!!

The second mp3 player was Zen Neeon. Quite a good reliable mp3 player. The player again got spoiled during the warranty period b'coz water entered it. I got a new player but then I lost it during clubbing in Jurong sometime in Mar 06. Such bad luck.

Now, I decided to get iPod. Perhaps fate was trying to tell me to choose iPod as my ideal mp3 player. Every player I get, it either gets spoiled or lost within a year. I hope that my iPod can last for more than a year as it is a costly investment...

Only drawback - short battery life for video playing. Only can play abt 2 hrs or most....hope that battery life can be improved when the next iPod comes out...
















My iPod taken from my Samsung D600 phone. The above model is from the Apple official Website.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Interview

Interview - the one many of us have to go through to get our dreams like a job or a place in the university.Since I cleared my leave in April, I have been going on the job hunt for a part-time job so that my three months before university will not be wasted. Here are some excerpts of the questions they posed to me.

"Why do you want to work at Starbucks?"

"What do you want to achieve by working here?"

"Is it ok if you are willing to work shift jobs?"

"Any job experience?"

The interview with Starbucks was the most thorough. The interviewer asked a lot of questions which I felt that very exhausted after the interview.

"Describe an experience that you received excellent customer service?" (I sort of cooked up a story - true story but just spiced it up a little)

"Are you willing to work together as a team?" (Er, can you say no?)

"Describe a time where you work together as a team and some conflicts arises. How did you mediate and resolve the conflict?" (I just jibber-jabbered about my project work experience in JC days)

"What if you and your partner had different ideas and how are you going to convince your partners to follow your idea instead of his?" (I really can't remember what I said. Perhaps I think I said that I will compromise and combine two ideas together)

In the end, I got the Starbucks job which I thought I would not be able to get it. Looking back, I think every time I go for an interview, I always have the feeling that I screwed up the interview process and will not be hired...

Then there's one interview which I went to which I didn't even know what is the job I am seeking for.

The interviewer was sitting on the chair while I sat on his sofa.

"So you are looking for a job, is it?"

"Yes. What is the job about?" (kind of stupid question to ask)

"Oh, they send you for training and they pay you around $1k."

"Oh, so what do I have to do?" I suspiciously asked.

"Don't worry. No sales involved. So why do you want to work here?"

"Erm, to get job experience and your place looks vibrant and energetic."

I am not quite sure till now what is the job scope is.

"So what am I working as?"

"Er, we are an advertising company. So we will send you for training where you will work together as a team to brainstorm and solve conflicts. You will learn leadership skills and management skills and we will pay you."

Sounds suspicious. Where on earth does a company give you money to send you for training?

To cut the long story short, I nearly got conned. Luckily my friends went for the same interview and asked him about the jobs. Turns out, they are looking for people to sell charity tickets to raise money for charity as have some commission at the same time.

Wait a minute, isn't that sales? Nope, the interviewer said. You are doing it for charity.

So then, why are we getting a commission for the charity tickets we sold?

I immediately quitted on that day. Luckily I never went for the training courses due to my problem of punctuality. I guess when they mean no sales involved, you have no idea that you might be conned. I have my friends to thank for finding the truth out.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Renewal

Wow, it's been a month since I last posted. What is new now?

  • A new different layout (yeah!!)
  • A new tagboard which people can post their comments and messages (yeah! yeah!)
How's cool is that? I learnt all this from the Internet, should kudos to the Net where everything is can be learned and enjoyed.

Enjoy the new layout...

Chill

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Lost

Loss - The feeling everyone has to do through some point in their life when someone or something is taken away from them. How do we deal with our loss?

Lesss than 2 months, my father passed away suddenly. It happened overnight and suddenly without any notice. It was a hard loss to me at that point in time. Overnight, I was suddenly the Man of the household and had to deal with my family financial situation. How then do I deal with my loss? I could mope around in the house, crying my eyes out mourning for my father. Or I could blame fate for taking my father away. No, I simply go on with my life, remembering my father in my heart and continue to live my life to the fullest.

Some of us deal our loss differently. Some of us try to deny our loss, saying that the loss does not have an effect on their life. Others feel that it is the end of their life. Also, some of them find their own courage during their period of loss and continue to live their life. Whatever it is, there is no denying that the loss of a loved one will evidently have a huge impact on their life.

How then do we move on after our loss? Many times I sometimes dreamt of my father, as if everything is the same as always. I always reminisced the times that my father and I spent together. It is difficult to move on after the loss of a loved one. Often, we feel that time has frozen and we are reliving the horrors of the loss of our loved one. However some time or other, we have to move on. That is where our Friends come in.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Thank you and farewell

Singapore has just lost a great leader last week when Mr S Rejaratnam passed away last Thursday. At first when I knew about the news, I was unsure who he was. Who is this great man that Singapore had mourned for and what contributions did he make? So I went and search him up on the Internet and the newspaper. I found out that he was one of the founding members of PAP with Lee Kuan Yew and he wrote the National Pledge. Imagine that! He wrote a pledge that we Singaporeans have been reciting since our early childhood education.

I guess in this fast paced society of today, we tend to forget our roots, forefathers and pioneers who made us who we are today. We know the lastest fashion trends and the lastest celebrity gossips and news. We almost know every minor detail of our famous celebrities. However I wonder, how much do we know about our forefathers? Do we only truly cherished them only when they left the society? How much effort do we take to know our forefathers who struggled in the past to make Singapore to what she is today? In other countries like America, almost every American know who is Abraham Lincoln or George Washington. How about us as Singaporeans? I guess it's time that we take the initiative to know about our forefathers and do not take them for granted. I guess it's time that we do not take our forefathers for granted and be appreciative of their contributions to the society.

With this, I bidded my farewell to a great Singaporean man who make his mark in the Singapore history. Rest well for you have truly deserved it.

Also, it's is two months since my father has passed away. Time doesn't heal my wounds. Sometimes, I wished that he is around with me and guiding me. I missed his voice and his mannerisms. However, life has to go on and I know that he will always be with me no matter what happens.

A Tribute to my Father...

"The world is filled with good fathers. How do we recognize them? They are the ones who are missed so terribly that everything falls apart in their absence.

They are the ones who love us, long before we have even arrived.

Yes, the world is filled with good fathers. And the best are the ones who make the women in their lives feel like good mothers."

Monday, February 20, 2006

What is my future?

Recently, I have begin thinking what will be my future? Will I have a successful career, earning lots of money and be happy? Or will I have a successful family but lack a good career? In the past, I used to think that happiness cannot be brought with money. You cannot take on a job just because the job has high pay and lots of perks. You have to have passion for what you are doing. So I think that I will rather have a career rather than a job. I want to enjoy my work and be passionate about it. Now currently, I hated my job as a admin clerk. Why? It is meaningless and I feel that my brains are rotting from all this stupid work that I am doing. I don't even know the meaning of my work and I can't quit due to contract obligations.

However with recent events, I found out that it is an idealist dream. Do you think that everyone enjoys what he/she is doing? Also, I found out the trade-offs. What if you have low pay for the job that you liked? Will you still take it? Will you work 20 over years of your life for a miserly pay just because you like what you are doing?

So I thought about it a lot. Then I realised that I am an idealist. Idealists are basically dreamers who dream of a better place for the society to live in but is hardly achievable. Why not take a shot at it? So what if the pay is low? The most important thing is the passion for the job that I am doing, right? Finally, I decide to myself that in the future, I want to have a career not a job. I want to have a career which I am passionate about it, which makes me want to get out of bed everyday and work on it. I don't mind if it's low paying or long hours. I want to enjoy what I am doing. After all, life is too short. Seize every moment you can...

Au revoir

Friday, February 03, 2006

Lunar New Year suxz - My com spoilt

Arghh, I had a lousy lunar new year last weekend. I can't go out visiting our family relatives and friends coz my father had recently passed away. Chinese tradition deemed as those folks who go visiting during Chinese new year will pass their bad luck to their relatives and friends. So I have to stuck at home. Luckily, I thought my PC will be my source of company as I will be able to watch American TV shows like 'Sex and the City' and 'Grey's Anatomy'. But then, my worse luck came about as my PC spoilt. Of all the times to get spoilt, my PC has to choose this worse timing ever. Now my PC is fixed, all my downloaded shows have been wiped all. Shit, now I have to re-download the shows again...sighz

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I NOT STUPID TOO - Review



I recently watched this movie during the CNY hols as my com is spoilt and can't go visiting (read above). I used to like Jack Neo's movies until one of his movie 'The Best Bet' really put me off for lousy storyline and very clumsy ending. Since then, I have avoided his subsequent movies until this one. I figured out, what's there to lose anyway?


However, this movie is quite good, surpassed my expectations which I have. I thought the storyline would be clumsy, weak and unentertaining. On the contary, the storyline was well-written out and had humourous moments at times. The acting from the young actors had definitely improved by leaps and bounds. This movie has many tearjerking moments, much like the movie, Titanic, so be prepared to bring lots of tissues. I find the tearjerking moments meaningful and well-protrayed, so much so that I was drawn into the movie, tearing my eyes away as I empathise with the protaganists.

Lovely movie to watch and spend your money worth this holiday to watch it with your friends and family...

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Happy New Year...or is it?

So much as happened since the last time I had blogged here. The months of Dec and Jan have been really crazy for me. Here is the list of what happened to my life during the past two months.

Mid-December 05
I went for a little vacation at the east of Singapore. That's rite! I am too broke to go overseas for vacation, so I went to the Aloha chalet with my church friends for one week vacation. The weather was good, so we went to the beach almost everyday. I never imagined that Singapore beaches were that good. I think Singapore beaches are ok, not much of a 'wow' factor as a tourist attraction. However, the sun is been hot during the week, so my friends and I sun-tanned almost everyday. When I returned to work after that, I was so tanned that people will think I went to Phuket for vacation. LOL!!!

Christmas vacation 05
Ok, I went for a minor operation during the Christmas holidays. I know that's sucks coz it's near Christmas. I have to miss my friends Christmas party, miss Christmas Midnight mass. Our church Christmas Midnight mass has always been a yearly affair. My friends and I would buy the lastest fashion in clothes and exchange presents before mass. We would attend the Midnight mass together with our friends. It was a memorable event. Too bad I couldn't make it due to my operation. I had to have my leg operated as I had an extra bone growing. So I have to miss a lot of Christmas holidays and gift exchanges. The upside: I have one month plus of medical leave lasting till the first week of Feb. Not a bad trade-off, come to think about it.

26 December - First anniversary of the Tsunami victims
Just a moment when the world stop whatever it is doing and pay respect to the lives lost during the Tsunami in the year 2004. The Tsunami is the worst disaster in the history where so many lives were lost during the Tsunami in different Asian countries. Now, the survivors have to rebuilt their lives.

The Nightmare of the New Year's Eve and the New Year
Yup, this year New Year Eve wil be my worst time I ever had. Why? This is the day where I will always remember how my father is. My father suddenly died of an acute heart attack in the morning of New Year Eve. The night before, my father went for his New Year party with his colleagues. He got home drunk, intoxicated and a bit unconscious. My sister and I tried to help him to wash him up and clean him. Checking that he is sleeping peacefully, we went to sleep. However, as fate intervened, my father had a heart failure during the middle of the night. I didn't noticed that until the next morning on New Year's Eve at 7.30am in the morning. I woke up to check on him and felt his pulse and breathing. There was none. I quickly called my family and called for the ambulance. However, by the time the paramedics came, the paramedics had pronounced my father to be dead on the spot. It was too late to save him. He was gone. Our family hierarchy suddenly changed. I was the head of the household. I suddenly became the man of the household. My world suddenly collapsed. During the wake, I felt so overwhelmed with this new position that I felt helpless and had no one to talk to. My father was suddenly taken away from me on New Year Eve. I had not even said farewell to him. All the time, I took him for granted, thinking that he will be there tomorrow and the day after. There's so many stuff that I wanted to say to him but couldn't now. It was this moment that I realised that I have become an adult.

Now, everything has more or less settled in my life. I am still having my medical leave. My father has been gone for two weeks. The New Year had been hard on me and our family. I guess now, we couldn't celebrate New Year like we used to anymore. Life has to go on.

Adios for now.