Renewal

Wow, it's been a month since I last posted. What is new now?

• A new different layout (yeah!!)
• A new tagboard which people can post their comments and messages (yeah! yeah!)

How's cool is that? I learnt all this from the Internet, should kudos to the Net where everything is can be learned and enjoyed.

Enjoy the new layout...

Chill

Lost

Loss - The feeling everyone has to do through some point in their life when someone or something is taken away from them. How do we deal with our loss?

Lesss than 2 months, my father passed away suddenly. It happened overnight and suddenly without any notice. It was a hard loss to me at that point in time. Overnight, I was suddenly the Man of the household and had to deal with my family financial situation. How then do I deal with my loss? I could mope around in the house, crying my eyes out mourning for my father. Or I could blame fate for taking my father away. No, I simply go on with my life, remembering my father in my heart and continue to live my life to the fullest.

Some of us deal our loss differently. Some of us try to deny our loss, saying that the loss does not have an effect on their life. Others feel that it is the end of their life. Also, some of them find their own courage during their period of loss and continue to live their life. Whatever it is, there is no denying that the loss of a loved one will evidently have a huge impact on their life.

How then do we move on after our loss? Many times I sometimes dreamt of my father, as if everything is the same as always. I always reminisced the times that my father and I spent together. It is difficult to move on after the loss of a loved one. Often, we feel that time has frozen and we are reliving the horrors of the loss of our loved one. However some time or other, we have to move on. That is where our Friends come in.

Thank you and farewell

Singapore has just lost a great leader last week when Mr S Rejaratnam passed away last Thursday. At first when I knew about the news, I was unsure who he was. Who is this great man that Singapore had mourned for and what contributions did he make? So I went and search him up on the Internet and the newspaper. I found out that he was one of the founding members of PAP with Lee Kuan Yew and he wrote the National Pledge. Imagine that! He wrote a pledge that we Singaporeans have been reciting since our early childhood education.

I guess in this fast paced society of today, we tend to forget our roots, forefathers and pioneers who made us who we are today. We know the lastest fashion trends and the lastest celebrity gossips and news. We almost know every minor detail of our famous celebrities. However I wonder, how much do we know about our forefathers? Do we only truly cherished them only when they left the society? How much effort do we take to know our forefathers who struggled in the past to make Singapore to what she is today? In other countries like America, almost every American know who is Abraham Lincoln or George Washington. How about us as Singaporeans? I guess it's time that we take the initiative to know about our forefathers and do not take them for granted. I guess it's time that we do not take our forefathers for granted and be appreciative of their contributions to the society.

With this, I bidded my farewell to a great Singaporean man who make his mark in the Singapore history. Rest well for you have truly deserved it.

Also, it's is two months since my father has passed away. Time doesn't heal my wounds. Sometimes, I wished that he is around with me and guiding me. I missed his voice and his mannerisms. However, life has to go on and I know that he will always be with me no matter what happens.

A Tribute to my Father...

"The world is filled with good fathers. How do we recognize them? They are the ones who are missed so terribly that everything falls apart in their absence.

They are the ones who love us, long before we have even arrived.

Yes, the world is filled with good fathers. And the best are the ones who make the women in their lives feel like good mothers."

What is my future?

Recently, I have begin thinking what will be my future? Will I have a successful career, earning lots of money and be happy? Or will I have a successful family but lack a good career? In the past, I used to think that happiness cannot be brought with money. You cannot take on a job just because the job has high pay and lots of perks. You have to have passion for what you are doing. So I think that I will rather have a career rather than a job. I want to enjoy my work and be passionate about it. Now currently, I hated my job as a admin clerk. Why? It is meaningless and I feel that my brains are rotting from all this stupid work that I am doing. I don't even know the meaning of my work and I can't quit due to contract obligations.

However with recent events, I found out that it is an idealist dream. Do you think that everyone enjoys what he/she is doing? Also, I found out the trade-offs. What if you have low pay for the job that you liked? Will you still take it? Will you work 20 over years of your life for a miserly pay just because you like what you are doing?

So I thought about it a lot. Then I realised that I am an idealist. Idealists are basically dreamers who dream of a better place for the society to live in but is hardly achievable. Why not take a shot at it? So what if the pay is low? The most important thing is the passion for the job that I am doing, right? Finally, I decide to myself that in the future, I want to have a career not a job. I want to have a career which I am passionate about it, which makes me want to get out of bed everyday and work on it. I don't mind if it's low paying or long hours. I want to enjoy what I am doing. After all, life is too short. Seize every moment you can...

Au revoir

Lunar New Year suxz - My com spoilt

Arghh, I had a lousy lunar new year last weekend. I can't go out visiting our family relatives and friends coz my father had recently passed away. Chinese tradition deemed as those folks who go visiting during Chinese new year will pass their bad luck to their relatives and friends. So I have to stuck at home. Luckily, I thought my PC will be my source of company as I will be able to watch American TV shows like 'Sex and the City' and 'Grey's Anatomy'. But then, my worse luck came about as my PC spoilt. Of all the times to get spoilt, my PC has to choose this worse timing ever. Now my PC is fixed, all my downloaded shows have been wiped all. Shit, now I have to re-download the shows again...sighz

I NOT STUPID TOO - Review

I recently watched this movie during the CNY hols as my com is spoilt and can't go visiting (read above). I used to like Jack Neo's movies until one of his movie 'The Best Bet' really put me off for lousy storyline and very clumsy ending. Since then, I have avoided his subsequent movies until this one. I figured out, what's there to lose anyway?

However, this movie is quite good, surpassed my expectations which I have. I thought the storyline would be clumsy, weak and unentertaining. On the contary, the storyline was well-written out and had humourous moments at times. The acting from the young actors had definitely improved by leaps and bounds. This movie has many tearjerking moments, much like the movie, Titanic, so be prepared to bring lots of tissues. I find the tearjerking moments meaningful and well-protrayed, so much so that I was drawn into the movie, tearing my eyes away as I empathise with the protaganists.

Lovely movie to watch and spend your money worth this holiday to watch it with your friends and family...

Happy New Year...or is it?

So much as happened since the last time I had blogged here. The months of Dec and Jan have been really crazy for me. Here is the list of what happened to my life during the past two months.

Mid-December 05
I went for a little vacation at the east of Singapore. That's rite! I am too broke to go overseas for vacation, so I went to the Aloha chalet with my church friends for one week vacation. The weather was good, so we went to the beach almost everyday. I never imagined that Singapore beaches were that good. I think Singapore beaches are ok, not much of a 'wow' factor as a tourist attraction. However, the sun is been hot during the week, so my friends and I sun-tanned almost everyday. When I returned to work after that, I was so tanned that people will think I went to Phuket for vacation. LOL!!!

Christmas vacation 05
Ok, I went for a minor operation during the Christmas holidays. I know that's sucks coz it's near Christmas. I have to miss my friends Christmas party, miss Christmas Midnight mass. Our church Christmas Midnight mass has always been a yearly affair. My friends and I would buy the lastest fashion in clothes and exchange presents before mass. We would attend the Midnight mass together with our friends. It was a memorable event. Too bad I couldn't make it due to my operation. I had to have my leg operated as I had an extra bone growing. So I have to miss a lot of Christmas holidays and gift exchanges. The upside: I have one month plus of medical leave lasting till the first week of Feb. Not a bad trade-off, come to think about it.

26 December - First anniversary of the Tsunami victims
Just a moment when the world stop whatever it is doing and pay respect to the lives lost during the Tsunami in the year 2004. The Tsunami is the worst disaster in the history where so many lives were lost during the Tsunami in different Asian countries. Now, the survivors have to rebuilt their lives.

The Nightmare of the New Year's Eve and the New Year
Yup, this year New Year Eve wil be my worst time I ever had. Why? This is the day where I will always remember how my father is. My father suddenly died of an acute heart attack in the morning of New Year Eve. The night before, my father went for his New Year party with his colleagues. He got home drunk, intoxicated and a bit unconscious. My sister and I tried to help him to wash him up and clean him. Checking that he is sleeping peacefully, we went to sleep. However, as fate intervened, my father had a heart failure during the middle of the night. I didn't noticed that until the next morning on New Year's Eve at 7.30am in the morning. I woke up to check on him and felt his pulse and breathing. There was none. I quickly called my family and called for the ambulance. However, by the time the paramedics came, the paramedics had pronounced my father to be dead on the spot. It was too late to save him. He was gone. Our family hierarchy suddenly changed. I was the head of the household. I suddenly became the man of the household. My world suddenly collapsed. During the wake, I felt so overwhelmed with this new position that I felt helpless and had no one to talk to. My father was suddenly taken away from me on New Year Eve. I had not even said farewell to him. All the time, I took him for granted, thinking that he will be there tomorrow and the day after. There's so many stuff that I wanted to say to him but couldn't now. It was this moment that I realised that I have become an adult.

Now, everything has more or less settled in my life. I am still having my medical leave. My father has been gone for two weeks. The New Year had been hard on me and our family. I guess now, we couldn't celebrate New Year like we used to anymore. Life has to go on.

Adios for now.